After 27 years of marriage, I feel pretty confident in making the following suggestions to young married men:
1. Clean is a relative term. Her definition is always right.
2. The request to “take out the trash” is perpetual in nature and should not need repeating.
3. The easiest way to get anywhere is to go the way she wants to go.
4. Maintaining her vehicle is your responsibility. Always.
5. If you say “my kids” in a conversation, be prepared to explain how you gave birth.
6. Blonde jokes are only funny when you are married to a brunette.
7. Any question beginning with “be honest” is a trick question. Find a way not to answer.
8. “I don’t care where we eat” does not mean what it says. She cares.
9. Proving you are right is not always something you should aspire to do.
10. "When momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy" may be the truest statement ever made.
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